"Everyone Else Has It Together... Except Me": A Love Letter to the Overthinking Mom
Let’s get one thing straight: if you’ve ever looked around and thought, “How is she doing all that while I can barely remember if I fed the dog?” — you are not alone.
From the outside, it can feel like every other mom is nailing Pinterest-level birthday parties, finding the coolest new store, running a side business, and doing yoga before the kids wake up. Meanwhile, you’re just trying to drink your coffee before it gets cold and not cry in the school drop-off car line.
Here’s the truth: most of us are a little bit of a mess. We just hide it really well. And that voice in your head saying, “You’re failing”? Yeah, she’s not being helpful. That’s internal judgment — and while she thinks she’s motivating you, she’s actually making everything harder.
The Sneaky Toll of Internal Judgment
Internal judgment isn’t just the occasional self-critique. It’s the inner monologue that whispers (or sometimes shouts), “You’re not doing enough. You’re not a good enough mom. Everyone else is handling this better.” It creates this loop of comparison and shame that drains your energy and steals your joy.
When you're constantly judging yourself, you’re not parenting from a place of presence or love — you’re parenting from fear. And that? Exhausting.
So, What Can You Do About It?
First, breathe. You don’t have to “fix” everything overnight. But here are a few gentle (and doable) steps:
1. Name the Voice
Give your inner critic a name. Call her “Perfect Patty” or “Judgy Judy” — something that reminds you this voice isn’t you. When she chimes in, you can say, “Thanks, Patty, but I’ve got this.” A little humor can go a long way.
2. Ask What You’d Say to a Friend
If your best friend came to you with the same worries you're carrying, would you tell her she's failing? Of course not. You’d remind her how hard she’s trying, how much she loves her kids, and how none of us are perfect. Offer yourself that same compassion.
3. Redefine "Together"
What does “having it together” even mean? Because spoiler alert: even the moms who look put-together have days where they cry in the laundry room or bribe their kids with snacks just to make it through the grocery store. The goal isn’t perfection — it’s realness.
4. Take a Pause (Even a Tiny One)
You can’t pour from an empty cup. Five minutes to sit with your coffee, stretch, or just breathe counts. Prioritize you — not in a spa-day-every-week way (unless you can swing that, in which case, carry on), but in little, meaningful ways.
Mama, you are not broken. You are not behind. You are not the only one struggling.
You are doing the best you can with the emotional load of a small army — and that’s no small thing.
If you’re tired of being your own worst critic, let’s work on quieting that judgment together. You deserve to feel good about the way you’re showing up — for your family and for yourself.
Reach out now to schedule a time to chat. Let’s take care of you for a change.